Archives For Family

Are You Saying “Yes” When You Should Say “NO”?

June 29, 2012

It has been hot here in Michigan! Up to 100 yesterday – makes me feel like I am back in the South.

Have you ever said yes to something when you should have said no? I know I have and it was almost always because of my “Fear of Man“. In other words I made decisions that were not in accordance with my worldview, beliefs or my priorities simply because I did not want to disappoint someone. The sad thing is that I often was saying yes to my job and no to my family when it should have been the other way around.

Read this article by Greg McKeown in the Harvard Business Review blog. Mr. McKeown makes three suggestions to help you learn to say no:

1. First, separate the decision from the relationship.

2. Second, watch your language

3. Third, avoid working for or with people who don’t respect your priorities.

Some decent suggestions. The main thing is to truly understand your priorities and to actually live your life in accordance with those priorities. So, learn to say No so you can yes to what is truly important.

Have fun this weekend!
BG

In Family, Personal Management ,
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A Wonderful Present

December 24, 2011

“For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and of peace
there will be no end, . . .”

Isaiah 9:6-7

Merry Christmas!

May you know deeply the love of Christ whom we celebrate and worship!
BG

In Christianity, Culture, Family ,
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What Would It Look Like?

November 25, 2011

I hope you had a great time of Thanksgiving yesterday.  We had the pleasure of some guests as well yesterday.

Now begins that mad dash towards the end of the year.  There will be Christmas parties, company coming over, shopping, special Christmas programs at church and so on.  Not to mention that you still have your work to do – just less time to do it this month.  That could add up to stress.

Maybe it is time to make a decision.  What if you decided to truly make this a time of celebrating the birth of Christ?  What if you decided to simply remove just one or two activities from your calendar and to spend that time in a relaxed setting with your family?  What if instead of rushing around, you took time to meditate on what the birth of Christ means to you, your family and this world?

What would it look like if you decided to not get caught up in all the madness, but decided to take these next days to still your heart and prepare to truly celebrate Christmas?

Blessings on your weekend,
BG

In Family, Personal Management ,
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Fear or Thankfulness

November 23, 2011

Greetings on this day before Thanksgiving!  Looks like it is going to be a sunny and crisp day here in southwest Michigan.

Right now there seems to be a lot of fear going around.  The media feeds it as fear seems to sell news (or what passes for news).  Tough economic times especially seem to generate fear.  People seem to think this is the toughest time we have ever faced (each generation seems to think that!).  As one pastor friend of mine put it, people seem ready to get their toilet paper, water, peanut butter, put on their white robes and head for the hills!

There is another choice – there is the choice of thankfulness.  There is the choice of joy at what God has done in our lives and what He is going to do.  There is the choice of courage.  Christ has promised that even the gates of Hell will not prevail against the church.  There is the choice of trusting in God and forging ahead with great energy and faith.

It seems that the concept of American exceptionalism is not very popular – in fact the opposite view seems to be in vogue. However, even a cursory view of history shows that this country is qualitatively different from others in history.  That exceptionalism has been earned by people of great faith, who have worked hard, have not given up in the face of adversity, and who do not cower in fear.

Fear and thankfulness don’t live together.  So, cultivate a spirit of thankfulness and banish fear from your life. I hope that as you celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow, you stop and reflect on what the Lord has done for you and for this country.

Gratefully serving Him and thankful that I am a citizen of the                            United States of America,
BG

In Culture, Family, United_States , ,
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Healthy Rhythms in Life

November 22, 2011

Good morning. Do you ever get frustrated when you know there are important relationships that you should be caring for, but just don’t seem to have the time?  You mean to, but it just doesn’t fit in? The problem with this is summed up in a saying I heard a while back, “We judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions.” So while you are thinking that you have the intention of caring for the relationship, the other person is only seeing your actions.

The key is to establish regular rhythms in your life of caring for key relationships.  It is hard at first and you will sacrifice some things, but the payoff is outstanding.  We have set down some things that work for us and are key to keeping our relationships strong.

First, Angela, my wife, and I have a breakfast date every Saturday morning in a neat little cafe in South Bend.  We spend time just talking about the previous week and talking about the future or whatever.  The key is it is OUR time. I give up Saturday morning for projects, recreation and etc., but it is well worth that small sacrifice.

Both of our daughters are still at home, so we almost always have a family date each week.  We all enjoy reading and coffee so we go to the local Barnes & Noble book store, read books, drink coffee, talk and laugh.  It is surprising how important that is to our girls. It also costs to do this, but we see this as a small investment into the strengthening of          our family.

These are just two examples of intentional actions that have become life rhythms that undergird our family relationships.  So, look at how you may strengthen your key relationships through establishing regular rhythms in the flow of your life. The change won’t be easy at first but, you will be blessed by the results.

BG

In Family, Personal Management , , , ,
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Have You Considered A Sabbatical?

June 23, 2011

Have you considered a sabbatical? It has been documented time and again that sabbaticals are a healthy thing, yet we as individuals and as organizations never seem to find the time.

For an organization, they become powerful tools for recharging your people and then for retaining them.  For an individual, they can be incredibly life-giving.

Michael Hyatt has a great post on the five benefits he received from the sabbatical he just finished. His observation was that a sabbatical gives you the opportunity to:

  1. Recharge physically and emotionally. This is more important than you think. We were made to surge, then rest. We can’t just go, go, go, and expect to function optimally.
  2. Slow down and enjoy being. God made us human beings, not human doings. 
  3. Reconnect with God. Everything in contemporary culture conspires against the pursuit of the only One who gives meaning to everything else. 
  4. Gain clarity on my priorities and goals.
  5. To secure alignment with your spouse. As the prophet Amos asks, “How can two walk together unless they are in agreement?” (see Amos 3:3). 
These are some powerful reasons to consider your own sabbatical.
So – what is preventing you from taking a sabbatical?  What are your next steps?
BG

 

In Family, Personal Management , ,
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Busyness and the Rhythms of Life

November 17, 2010

Are you busy?  Are you very, very busy?  Is this busyness fulfilling to you?  Or is it draining you?  Do you resent the demands placed on you?  Do you miss actually seeing and interacting with your family on a regular basis?  If you do, that begs the question – what is the purpose of your work?

A friend of mine often speaks to beleaguered families and he makes this statement – “It seems that most of us get up in a tired and in a rush, get the kids fed & off to school, do our best to make it to work on time, try to survive a day with back-to-back meetings on our calendar, work late due to schedule interruptions, arrive late to the kids ball game, grab a fast-food supper, get home, do homework, get the kids in bed and then fall into beds ourselves – late.  The next morning we get to get up and do it all over again.”  Not too encouraging.  The pity is that we actually choose to live this way.

I am currently undergoing my coaching certification process with Ministry Coaching International.  MCI is the sister organization to Building Champions, an executive coaching firm.  One of the BC coaches is Steve Scanlon and he has an excellent guest post on Michael Hyatt’s blog entitled “Confronting the Curse of Busyness”. Great article and well worth a read.

I have put a few practices or anchors as a friend of mine calls them, in my life to ensure a proper rhythm around some important relationships in my life.  Three of these are:

1. My marriage – every week, my wife and I have a breakfast date at a nice little restaurant to discuss the previous week and plan for the next week.  We found it very necessary to get away for this time.  You can’t do it at home as there is too many things vying for your attention.

2. My children – all four of us like to read, so for years we have had a weekly “family date” where we go to the local Barnes & Noble bookstore, get a cup of coffee and read books and talk.  This has become an important tradition to our girls.

3. Accountability – for years now, I have been meeting my best friend & accountability partner at a local restaurant (where they keep your coffee cup full!) on Tuesday mornings at 7:00.  We talk about how we are doing in our walk with Christ, our marriages, our families and our work.  This time has proven invaluable to me in my growth.

These are just three of the things I do to maintain a healthy rhythm in my life.  What are you doing to bring back balance to your life & to rescue it from busyness?

Peace and grace,

BG

In Culture, Family, Personal Management ,
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The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family

April 30, 2010

Do you ever feel like your work or ministry is much more organized or stable than your family life? Does that somehow feel backwards? Well it is a little backwards!

The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family

Patrick Lencioni in his consulting with senior executives found himself in frequent conservations about their families. The good thing is that their families are very important to them. The negative was that they spent inordinately more time thinking about and planning how to run their businesses than they did for their families.

So, Patrick took some methodology from a previous book and adapted it for the family. It is powerful in that it is simple and easy to apply. This is something that is well worth the investment if your family meets the “frantic family” definition.
Click here to see the summary of the book and to download the tool.

Following is a brief excerpt from his online article on the book:

“What is the most important organization in our lives? The companies where we work? The schools where our children learn? The churches where we worship? As important as all of these are, none compares to our families. It is the single most relevant, impactful and precious institution in society, and yet, as an organization it is largely ignored.

What I mean is that compared to the other organizations in our lives, we spend almost no time doing any formal planning or strategizing about how to run our families. Even those of us who take part in strategic planning at work or school or church somehow feel content to live our home lives in a reactive, unplanned way. Exceptions to this include our finances, where we spend time thinking about savings and investments and budgets. But when it comes to the management of our daily lives and activities and priorities, we tend to wing it, reacting to issues and problems as they come up without any context or plan.

And the cost of winging it is huge.

The Three Big Questions:

1. What makes your family unique?

2. What is your family’s top priority – rallying cry – right now?

3. How are we going to talk about and use the answers to these questions?”

Again – it is a great book. If you feel like you have a “frantic family”, take a few minutes to check this out. You will be blessed.

Have a great weekend,
BG

In Family, Good Books, Personal Management, Planning
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