Archives For Personal Growth
Great quote from Warren Bennis from Susan Cain’s Facebook page
Last week I wrote a blog post on rewiring your organization vs. restructuring the organization.It occurred to me that principle applies to our lives as well. If we want different lives, we need to be “rewired” instead of only a restructuring. We need new mindsets, not just different routines.
However, sometimes the right changes in some of our behaviors will start producing new mindsets. Too often we want to wait until we feel like starting a new behavior, whereas actually beginning the behavior, whether we feel like it or not, will actually produce the new mindsets.
So, here are some simple 30 minute behaviors or routines to assimilate into your daily routine that will, in my estimation, change your mindset:
1. Read the Bible for 30 minutes each day or at least one chapter daily.
2. Spend 30 minutes in prayer quietly before the Lord.
3. Exercise for 30 minutes six days of the week.
Incorporate these three things into your life for 30 days and see if you are not a different person.
One other thing – look for opportunities each day to do something simple to help someone else. Ideally, it should be someone that cannot do anything for you and, ideally, it can be done so that no one knows it was you.
Finally, be present – don’t always be anticipating the future or replaying the past. Spend time in the now – especially with those you love.
Blessings on your week!
Good morning! It has been a beautiful fall week here in the Midwest.
So, how are you doing in your personal vitality? Do you know? Do you know where you want to be in the different areas of your life? Do you know where you are now? Do you know how to get from where you are to where you want to be?
Someone pointed out once that we will spend more time planning a two week vacation than we will evaluating and planning our life. Additionally, Patrick Lencioni notes in his book The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family, that high powered executives who are excellent planners and leaders fail to apply these same skills to leading their families.
Well, there are couple of good tools to help you in this area of your life. One is a personal vitality plan developed by Life Action Ministries. In fact, my oldest daughter, who still serves there, just finished her mandatory all-day review of her vitality plan this week. Life Action takes seriously the health of their staff thus they require every staff member to go through their vitality plan for a full day each year.
The approach is fairly simple. First, they have broken it down into 12 segments:
- Seeking God
- Emotional Health
- Physical Health
- Rest & Recreation
- Moral Purity
Then there are four steps to take:
First – ask these three questions:
1. What has been going well?
2. What is being neglected?
3. What are some achievable steps I could take over the next year to replenish this (these) area(s)?
Second – Recognize that spiritual health requires community. Ask who is speaking into your life in these areas? If no one, then who needs to be part of the conversation? Who can be praying for you, advising you, and holding you accountable?
Third – once you have a big picture of what is going on in your life, select one or two areas to focus on for the next three months. Don’t try to do everything at once, just pick one to two areas.
Fourth – Revisit this exercise quarterly to track your progress and to set / adjust your goals.
The other tool I would recommend is Patrick Lencioni’s book I mentioned above. Click here to access some of the helpful tools he has designed to help with your family.
Being healthy is simply a choice – it is your choice. Now I do understand that simple does not equal easy – it is hard work to break old habits and build new ones, but these tools are a good way to start.
Seek health in all areas of your life and make a difference in this world,
I mentioned last week, that I would share a bit about my journey in dealing with anxiety. It has been surprising how often the subject of pride has come up in this process so far. As I have delved deeper into some of the causes of my encounters with anxiety, I really did not want to share them as they do not reflect the image I desire to portray – by the way that is called “image management” and is not a good thing.
A lot of good has come out of the last couple of weeks as well. As I have acknowledged the anxiety and began to push past my pride and image management to look clearly at the causes, I am beginning to better manage it when it begins to occur. I recognize it earlier, deal with it head on, and the “spells” are getting shorter and shorter.
Now as to some of the causes that I have uncovered so far. I am an INTJ by the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. That means I am someone who processes internally and thinks a lot – a lot. And I spend a lot of time planning and thinking about the future or reflecting on and evaluating the past (not nearly enough on the present). Sometimes that thinking on the future can become “what are all the things that can go wrong” – which is a long list by the way. Reflecting on the past becomes evaluating on past actions which becomes thinking of all the ways I could have done something better. Those two things not handled properly can cause a bit of anxiety.
A year ago, I left Life Action Ministries as I was a deputized missionary (I raised my own funding to pay my salary) and after eleven years the funding dried up, so I was forced to look for a job. Leaving an organization where you have served for twelve years, that you care about and are invested in and know how things work and then going to a new organization (Ambassador Enterprises) where you are the “newbie” among some incredibly smart and talented people was incredibly challenging. I went from knowing my job well and coaching others, to being the rookie – that was hard and much harder than I had anticipated emotionally. Ambassador has been great to me and very welcoming, so it has been my issue not theirs. Again, one root of this is pride as I did not want to be the rookie again, I wanted to be the one who had the answers.
The next cause I will mention today is the “fear of man” (click here to read an article on this subject). I have found myself overly concerned what others think of me, especially those that are my authorities. Here at Ambassador I work for the CEO who is a great guy. He has exceptionally high standards (more for himself than others), very intelligent, and not bashful at all about “coaching” you when you need it. His coaching is usually timely, needed, and accurate, but it still stings. I have often found my self anxious about what he (and others) think about what I have to say and how I do things. That’s not healthy. Of course we want to be doing things well and in accordance with what our authorities (bosses) want, but there is a healthy approach and an unhealthy approach that causes anxiety.
So, so far, I have identified three things impacting me:
1. Allowing my internal processing (future planning and the evaluation of the past) to take on a negative aspect. NOTE: This is, in my opinion and for me, rooted in how closely I am walking with the Lord at that point and how much I am actually putting my trust in Him.
2. Pride – plain and simple. When pride rears its ugly head, the consequences are always negative.
3. Fear of man – this is actually a subset of pride if you will. Overly concerned with what others think of me.
There are more things I am discovering, but this is where I am today.
Blessings on the rest of your week!
“Anxiety is nothing but repeatedly re-experiencing failure in advance. What a waste.” — Seth Godin
Do you ever deal with anxiety? I do. Also, it seems worse now that I am older, which seems counterintuitive to me. To top it off, Scripture tells us not to worry, so that creates even more pressure on me. I know I am not supposed to be anxious, but at times I am. Why?
Well, I am on a journey now, to find the roots of this and to learn how to deal with it. One book I have picked up that looks promising is The Anxious Christian by Rhett Smith in Plano, Texas. Following is a review of the book from Amazon:
“So… Many… Choices… Can’t… Make… The… Wrong… One…What will I do after graduation? Whom should I marry? Where should I look for work? What will my friends think? What if my marriage is falling apart? What if I’m drowning in debt? In our journey of faith there are particular moments that produce a certain amount of anxiety. Often anxiety and/or worry has been looked upon as an “un-Christian” feeling to have. But The Anxious Christian conveys the message that anxiety can actually be helpful in our spiritual formation, and that God can use anxiety as a catalyst to move people forward in their life of faith. In that movement, anxiety’s gift is that it allows us to face our resistance and fears, understand where those fears come from, and then make intentional choices about important issues such as career, marriage, money, and our spiritual lives. It’s time to get unstuck. It is quite common in the Christian life that when someone mentions they are experiencing anxiety, they are often dismissed and devalued by what are often well-intentioned Christian platitudes and Bible quoting. But this dismissal of anxiety often produces shame in the individual, driving their anxiety into hiding where it can do more damage. Let’s re-think our shame in this area by planting the seed that anxiety in our lives can be a catalyst for growth that moves us closer to who God created us to be.”
So, I am on a journey to start dealing with this issue in my life and I hope you don’t mind if I share where I am with you at times.
Also, if you have any thoughts for me, I would appreciate those as well.
I don’t know about you, but I prefer to be around people that agree with me, that share my viewpoint, and that make me comfortable. The conversations are easier, there is minimal conflict and tension, and it just makes me happier. I know that I am right most of the time, so why waste time with those who obviously don’t understand and disagree with me. Right?
The problem is, what I want is not what I need. While that is true as an individual, it is also true for leaders of organizations. We have a tendency to seek out affirmation of our ideas and not seek out dissent. However, dissent is exactly what we need – individually and corporately. We need people who have the courage to challenge our ideas, to shoot holes in them, to create friction and sparks. This is the only way that ideas will become better. This is the only way bad ideas will die a timely death.
As a leader, often times people will avoid disagreeing with you, they will avoid criticizing your ideas and will be more concerned with earning your favor – especially if you quash dissent. You have to set the tone for your team so that they know that not only is it safe to challenge your ideas, it is actually expected. Because you know that you need their dissent to develop the best ideas.
Seek dissent, encourage creative friction and sparks within your team as you wrestle together to find the best solution to your challenges.
Many of us have to contend with thieves. Thieves that rob us of time and diminish our effectiveness. In this case there are no police to call – it is up to us to do something about them.
Gary Keller in his book The One Thing, identifies the four thieves as:
1. Inability to say “No” – he repeats the old saying that “every ‘yes” must be defended by 1,000 ‘no’s’.” When yo say yes to the wrong things, you are not just distracted, you are hijacked. Learn to say no to the good things and yes to the best things.
2. Fear of chaos – focusing on one thing can actually be a bit messy. While you are focusing on your one thing, the world is still moving right along. When you focus on one thing, other things don’t get done. So, when you focus, it will get messy. That’s ok.
3.Poor health habits – when you don’t take care of yourself, when you mismanage your energy, you become less effective.To be productive and to be able to truly focus with your greatest creativity, you need to be managing your personal energy well. Get plenty of sleep, eat right, exercise and etc. Take care of yourself.
4 Environment doesn’t support your goals – Are the people around you supportive of your goals? How do they impact your attitude and your health? How about the people you hang out with? Are they good for you or bad for you? Do you need to change? What about your physical environment? Is it conducive to good work or is it a distraction? What distractions do you need to eliminate in your physical environment?
How do you plan on protecting yourself from these four thieves?
Blessings on your day!